


Don't Give The Cat Lox And Bagels

by GoofyGoldenGirl



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Dinner Party, Fights, Funny, Gen, Hotels, Humor, Lunch, New York City, Restaurants, Silly, Superheroes, actual cat chat noir, food obsession, lox and bagels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 10:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5453915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoofyGoldenGirl/pseuds/GoofyGoldenGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>When Ladybug and Chat Noir stop in New York during a world tour, Chat Noir discovers the New York treat known as lox and bagels </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Give The Cat Lox And Bagels

The famed French duo had just beaten a couple of criminals in SoHo and to celebrate they decided to go out for lunch.

Chat Noir and Ladybug entered on of the trendy brunch/lunch places and took a table for two. The waitress came by with menus and glasses of water. 

"What can I get you?" She asked with a smile.

"I'll have a cheeseburger," Ladybug said. Asides from super strength, their miraculous gave them the ability to communicate in any language. 

"What's this?" Chat Noir pointed at one of the options under the _sandwiches_ section.

"Oh, lox and bagels. It's salmon and cream cheese on a bagel," the waitress told him. 

"Salmon?" Chat Noir perked up. "I'll take it!" 

The food arrived and they dug in. It was love at first bite for Chat Noir.

"This is so yummy!" He gushed as he chewed. "It literally is tickling my taste buds! It is delicious! It is divine! It is _paw_ fect!"

"Can we make it through lunch without a cat pun?" Ladybug sighed.

"I'll think I'll have another one!" He mused. "Miss Waitress?" He held up a finger. "May I have another one please?"

"Another one?" She was surprised. "You superheroes really do eat everything in sight."

They left an hour later. Chat Noir licked his fingers, still craving the taste.  
************************************************************************************  
The next morning Ladybug and Chat Noir were scheduled to go on a tour of the city. They would be meeting in front of the hotel at exactly 9:00 where they would be given a private tour on their own personal bus.

Ladybug's cell read 9:15. Chat Noir was nowhere to be found.

"Now where could that cat be?" She asked herself, as she glanced about.

"Listen if he doesn't show up, we're leaving," the bus driver said.

"We just can't leave him!" She protested. "He--he was looking forward to this!"

"Hi guys!"

Chat Noir was running up to them from the opposite direction. He carried a deli bag in his hand.

"Chat Noir where were you?" Ladybug exclaimed.

"Sorry I'm late; I had to pick up breakfast."

Inside the bag were two lox and bagels.

"I can't get enough of these lox and bagels!" Chat Noir said as he took one out. "They're so good!"

"We don't allow food inside the bus," the driver said.

"Oh," Chat Noir looked down at his bagel. "Don't worry, I'll be quick!"

With two chomps he devoured the first bagel. Then he shoved the second one inside his mouth and ripped at it with his teeth. Spit, shreds of salmon, and splats of cream cheese flew everywhere. With a smack, he swallowed his last bite and let out a contented sigh.

"Mmm," he rubbed his belly. " _Tres manifique!_ Alright, let's head out!"

He was met with a stunned silence.  
*****************************************  
Later, Ladybug went to Chat Noir's hotel room to pick him up for an important dinner at the United Nations. She knocked.

"Chat Noir?" She called. "It's time to go!"

She knocked again. No answer.

"Chat Noir, we can't be late again! Chat Noir?"

She tried the door to find that it wasn't locked. 

Everything about the room seemed normal. The surfaces were clean, the bed made, his suitcase placed in the corner, but the pungent smell of salmon penetrated her nostrils.

"Ugh!" She held her nose and made a face. "Where--"

She caught sight of the mini refrigerator. The door was open a crack, and the fridge was stuffed with brown paper bags. She knelt down to find that three bags filled with at least _twenty_ lox and bagels tumbled out. She jumped back.

"Ladybug?"

Chat Noir was standing at the door with _another_ bag of lox and bagels.

"Chat Noir! Explain this!" Ladybug shouted.

"Explain what?" He asked, pretending to be confused.

"Silly cat! You just can't live on lox and bagels alone! You're going to get _sick!_ "

"But cats live on fish!" He said.

"But what about when you transform back to normal? What about other nutrients? And doesn't salmon have a ton of mercury?"

"Oh come on Ladybug, it's just for the trip," Chat Noir said as he sniffed his dinner. "It's not like I'm going to eat like this all the time."

"I just--I don't want to worry about you!" She exclaimed. "I worry about you as much as it is and I just don't want you to hurt yourself over something so _ridiculous!_ "

"My sweet Ladybug! Are you flirting with me?" Chat Noir asked suggestively.

"No I'm not!" She said. "Let's just forget about this for now! You need to get ready for tonight! Take a shower, and for god's sake put some air fresheners in your room!"  
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
The two superhero teenagers walked in arm in arm into the ballroom. Ladybug tried to keep a straight face, but the smell coming from Chat Noir's tux pockets made her want to gag.

"Why did you bring bagels?" She asked, exasperated.

"They're just a little snack," he said, smiling at the crowd who gathered around them.

"You smell _disgusting_ " She shot at him. "And everyone else is going to notice!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't smell anything!"

"Well--"

The mayor of New York and his posse approached them.

"Ah Ladybug! Chat Noir!" He greeted them. " _Il est bon de vous rencontrer enfin_ ," He read from the notecard he carried.

"Merci!" Ladybug said enthusiastically as she extended her hand out to him. Chat Noir did too. As he and the Mayor shook hands, the older man nearly cringed as he sniffed the air.

"Uh--" he tried to not let the smell get to him. "Uh--" He glanced down at his notecard again. " _Comment aimez-vous à New York?_ "

"We also speak English," Ladybug piped up. "And, I'm having a great time here!"

"I am so glad!" The Mayor grimaced. "And you Chat Noir?"

"I love New York!" He exclaimed. "You guys have such amazing food!"

"Really? What's your favorite?"

"Have you ever had lox and bagels?" Chat Noir pulled out one from his pocket. "It's like heaven in your mouth!"

The Mayor's face turned green and he ran off.

"Chat Noir!" Ladybug reprimanded him.

But he was too busy digging into his bagel.  
*************************************************  
An exquisite five course meal was laid out for the guests of honor, but Chat Noir only had eyes and mouth for his bagels.

"At least eat one other thing," Ladybug told him.

"I will," he said in between bites. A waiter carrying a plate of smoked salmon passed them. Chat Noir beckoned him over.

"Oh great," Ladybug grumbled. She tried to pick at her salad and steak.

There was a crash from the other side of the room followed by a scream. Two men dressed in black and carrying guns had broken a window and climbed inside.

"Everyone get down on the floor!" The first assailant shouted. 

"Nobody move!" The second assailant pointed his gun at the guests. "Move an inch and I'll blow your brains out!"

"We're here for the Miraculous!" The first assailant continued. "Hand them over and nobody gets hurt!"

Ladybug and Chat Noir peeked out from behind the table.

"This is bad," Chat Noir said. "I thought HawkMoth only had control over Paris!"

"We gotta stop them! Where are their akumas?" 

"The guns!" They both exclaimed at the same time.

They both came out and faced the assailants.

"We're not giving them over!" Ladybug defiantly shouted.

"Then we'll make you girlie!" Assailant number two evilly said.

They had never faced villains so relentless like the assailants. Trying to grab the guns while the assailants kept firing at them were a difficult task.

"Look out!" Ladybug shouted as Assailant one aimed at Chat Noir. He dodged for the fifth time and did a flip, holding onto his pockets so his bagels wouldn't fall out.

"Forget about the bagels! This is more important!" She hollered as she struggled to get Assailant two down to the ground.

"We might need a Lucky Charm!" Chat Noir shouted.

"Good idea!" She threw up her yo-yo. It came back down as…a bagel.

"Are you kidding me?" She yelled. "How--"

She then realized that it wasn't the lucky charm she was supposed to use.

"Chat Noir! Throw me one of your bagels!" 

"What? Why?"

"Just do it!"

He did so. She caught it and nearly smashed it into the man's face. He gagged and collapsed, unconscious.

Ladybug ran over to Chat Noir and restrained the other assailant as he emptied his jacket over him.

"As they say…look what the cat dragged in!" Chat Noir said as smelly bagels piled over the bandit. He also fainted.

They stepped onto the guns a few times, breaking them in half.

Ladybug went to work, capturing and cleansing the akumas.

" _Tu as assez fait de mal petite akuma! Je te libère du mal ! Je t'ai eu!"_

They emerged and flew off.

" _Bye-Bye! Petit papillon!_ "

She threw up her yo-yo.

"Miraculous Ladybug!"

All returned back to normal. Ladybug and Chat Noir pounded fists, watching as the NYPD stormed in and arrested the perpetrators, and the guests trickling in.

"We did a great job!" She said.

Suddenly a queasy look washed over Chat Noir's face.

"Oh god--" He had a hand over his mouth. "That smells so gross!"

He ran out of the room, and made his way to the restrooms. A beeping noise came from Ladybug's Miraculous, signaling that she would transform back soon.  
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
A few weeks later, when Marinette returned to France, she and her classmates went out for a picnic in the park. Adrien also was there, and he promised that he would bring the sandwiches.

"I have a surprise for you guys!" He said cheerfully. "I discovered these from a trip I made to the states."

He pulled out a plate of lox and bagels. Marinette nearly screamed.


End file.
